


Demons Don't Do Valentine's Day

by Thatauthoryouhate



Category: Helltaker (Video Game)
Genre: Chocolate, F/M, Fluff, Harems, Love, POV Second Person, Pancakes, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:15:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29425857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatauthoryouhate/pseuds/Thatauthoryouhate
Summary: Your plan is in motion as you set about making Valentine's Day special!
Relationships: Azazel/Beelzebub/Cerberus/Reader/Judgement/Justice/Lucifer/Malina/Modeus/Pandemonica/Zdrada, Reader/Everyone
Kudos: 30





	Demons Don't Do Valentine's Day

Midnight, and everyone should be sound asleep. Everyone that is, except for you. Rolling out of bed, you head to your nearby drawers. Sitting right beneath your underwear in the top-drawer is a stack of ten peach envelopes. You received your fair share of judgmental looks when you purchased them, but even now it's easy to shrug off. You know your heart's in the right place at least. 

Cards in hand, you begin your mission. Silently you slip out of your room, and tiptoe up to your first target. A light shines from below Modeus' door, and you silently curse to yourself. It would seem you're going to have to try her last. 

Adapting your plan, you push onwards. Lucifer's room is the second closest, and mercifully no light shines there. With the grace of a ninja, you are in front of the door in seconds. A quick look to the left, then right, and the coast is clear. With a single fluid motion, you bend down, and slide Lucifer's card through the bottom of the door. 

The temptation to break into a run, and flee is great, but the rational half of your mind prevails. Silently you sneak off, approaching the way to the attic. You stop by the string that connects to the attic's entrance, and grimace. Somewhat expectantly, a light shines from within.

“Malina's playing games all night again,” you instantly think, and your shoulders droop. Nothing else for it, time to move on. The next logical step would be to head downstairs, and get the cards to less nocturnal girls.

The trip downstairs is quick, and still no one stirs. Cerberus, Judgement, and Justice are all easily reached, and their cards slipped beneath their respective doors without fuss. Next up is Zdrada, and already you sense she may be your biggest thorn.

Making your way towards her room, you have to bite back a sigh at what you find. Her light is off, but her door is wide-open. A quick check, and she is definitely not inside. That can mean only one thing, and it does not bode well for your plans. 

Steeling your nerves, you keep up your ninja act on your approach to Pandemonica's room. Silence surrounds you even as you come to a stop outside. Something is off, if Zdrada is with Pandemonica there should at least be the sounds of toys filling the air, if not open pants and moans. 

Placing your ear against the door, you concentrate on what is within. Almost a minute, and nothing but the peaceful breathing of a sleeping demon sounds out. Dare you crack the door, and remove any doubt of Zdrada's whereabouts? 

Of course you do!

With the care that such a task deserves, you lightly twist the doorknob. A click sounds, deafening in the silence. You can only hope that the volume is in your head, and you plough on with pushing the door open. Stopping once you can spy inside, you quickly scan the room. Your eye stops on the bed, and you can't help but grin like a madman. 

Lying atop of her sheets, is a very naked Pandemonica. More importantly is that she currently has an equally naked Zdrada acting as her little spoon. Closing the door with another fear-inducing click, you make sure to slide two cards under the door as you slip away into the night. 

Heading to the living room, you check which cards you still have left. Azazel will be easy enough you're certain, and as long as she's not hyped up on sugar; so will Beel. All that leaves is Malina, and Modeus. Deciding to deal with that later, you head to Azazel's room. 

Trusting your angel to be fast asleep by now proves to be your downfall, as your caution is all but gone. You pay for this when you come face to face with Azazel just outside her door. She wears her usual fluffy pyjamas, and nurses a glass of water. 

“What are you doing up?” she asks, unable to hold back a yawn. 

A part of you feels like fleeing, and hoping she forgets by morning. Alas, you're not quite willing to risk that not working. “Can you keep a secret?” you ask, earning a slow nod of her head. “I'm sorting out Valentine's day,” you reveal, flashing her name written upon one of your remaining envelopes. 

“I was under the impression demons don't celebrate that holiday,” she reveals, gesturing for you to follow her into her room. You do so, and she flicks on the light. 

“Really? I may have gone overboard in that case,” you admit sheepishly. 

“How so?” she asks with a tilt of her head, finally taking the card from you. She walks towards her desk, and places it upon it. No doubt she intends to reserve opening it until the morning. 

“Slipping cards under doors, chocolates ready to dole out. I even learned a Valentine's day recipe for pancakes in the morning.”

“I'm sure they'll appreciate it, but don't expect much in return,” she begins, opening a drawer. A quick glance reveals it filled with envelopes not dissimilar to your own. Fishing one from it, she holds it out for you to take. 

No name is written upon it, and the flap has merely been tucked inside as opposed to correctly sealed. “I brought cards too,” she confesses, a light pink filling her cheeks. 

You tuck away her card, silently promising to look at it in the morning. “Thanks.”

“You're welcome! I'll not keep you any longer, turn the light off on the way out,” she instructs, already turning to approach her bed. There really is no need to keep her awake any longer, and so you leave, making sure to turn the light off before exiting her room. 

Only one more card remains apart from the trouble-makers. Beelzebub. After being allowed to move in with the rest of the girls, there was the trouble of finding a room for her. After all, the rest of the girls took up your previously spare rooms. The solution ended being to simply create another room from thin-air. Lucifer begrudgingly did the deed, and so the door that should lead to nowhere now exists in your garage. 

Entering the garage is easy enough, if cold. The door to Beelzebub's room sitting nice, and opposite the one you entered. It glows a sheen of purple, and never ceases emitting a soft humming. Unfortunately, it's rather impossible to tell if the occupant is still awake, and you'll simply have to take a chance with this one. 

To that end, you are quick to squat down just by her door. Two, slow deep breaths later, and you slide Beelzebub's card beneath her door. Every one of your muscles stiffens in place, and you count down the seconds. After ten, you slowly stand back up. Nothing, it's likely safe to say you're in the clear. 

Escaping from the garage, you allow a sigh of relief. The hard part is done, now for the rest. You head towards the living room, and remove the remotes from the central table. Once clear, you make the short journey back to your room. The closet is your target, and hidden on the shelf above is near a dozen boxes of chocolate stacked above one another. 

Not wanting to make two trips, you carefully pull the stack down, and secure them close to your chest. You walk slowly back to the living room, your sight only slightly hampered by the stack of boxes in your arms. Still, you manage to make it back with no accidents. 

You place the stack on the table, and take your time to place them one by one around the table's edge. It takes a little doing, but finally, you're satisfied with how they sit. Only one thing left to do before sleep. You take the two cards meant for Malina, and Modeus, placing them over their intended boxes of chocolates respectively. 

Now, all you need to do is wake up early to make pancakes. You turn around to make your way back to bed, when you freeze in place. Standing in your path is a barely dressed Justice. Her dull grey eyes look straight at you, but your gaze quickly drifts down to her most definitely bare chest. Her nipples are erect, no doubt due to the chill, and you want to wrap her in your arms just to warm her up. 

“Hey! Who's up this late!?” she asks, louder than you'd like. You can't help but tilt your head in question, she's usually pretty good at telling who's who regardless of her blindness. Closing the gap, her eyes seem to shine in recognition as you step closer. “I wasn't expecting you,” she mentions, quickly grinning. “Hey, did you slip this under my door?” she asks, and you notice your card in her hand.

“Yeah, that was me,” you answer, a flutter of nerves floating like butterflies occupying your stomach. 

“Can you tell me what it is?” 

You look at her dumbly for a second, before realizing your rather foolish error. Of course Justice can't read it by herself, and you certainly don't know any Braille. “It's a Valentine's Day card,” you explain, and her brows furrow together. 

“And, what's that?”

Shit. “Well, every year on February the 14th. Couples exchange cards and gi-” you begin, slowly stopping as Justice cannot contain her laughter. 

“I'm just messing with you!” she reveals, and you can't help but add a chuckle. “Still, demons don't tend to do the lovey-dovey stuff. Well, Modeus might indulge.”

Your mind fails you when it comes to a response, and your body takes over. Quickly, yet gently; you wrap your arms around Justice's waist, encouraging her to lean into you. She does just that, and her arms are quick to wrap around you in kind. Her head rests on your shoulder, and she let's out a content sigh. 

“Not Lovey-dovey right?” you tease. 

If it were Zdrada, or maybe even Lucifer they would put on a show of resisting, but not Justice. “Yeah, alright. This shit is nice,” she concedes. 

For almost a minute you stand there, hugging Justice close. Still, you don't have all night, and you let her go. She's a little hesitant about releasing you, but does so all the same. 

“I better get some sleep, got to get up early,” you explain. 

Justice pouts. “That's not right. You're meant to say 'Justice, I need you, please come to my bed',” she says, doing a poor job at imitating your voice. 

You think for a moment, before offering a cautious nod. “Alright, but hands stay above the waist, cuddles only.”

“So strict,” she begins, a yawn escaping her. “Deal.”

You're sure she won't stick to the rules, but you've already danced with set-backs a few times tonight. The pair of you head to your room, and you get into bed together. Justice is quick to wrap her hands around you, but true to her word keeps away from your lower half. 

All that remains is to make sure you rise early in the morning.

\- - -

Your alarm wakes you up early, yet Justice sleeps through it with ease. It takes some doing, but you're able to escape her loving grip without rousing her. Heading to your shower, you rush through your morning routine before heading to the kitchen. The sun is yet to fully rise, and as long as no one else made special plans for the morning, the first pancakes should be ready by the time the early risers appear.

Twenty minutes later, and your first heart-shaped pancake is done. Not a moment too soon, as the familiar sound of heels on floor grows louder. Turning around, you see a smiling Lucifer, already in her suit for the day ahead. 

“Morning dear!” she sings, and you notice your card held between her fingers. Before you can comment, she quickly closes the gap. Her free hand rests upon your shoulder, and she darts in close to plant a brief kiss on your cheek. “You've been busy.”

You're taken aback for a brief moment, promptly recovering. “Sure have.”

A quick chuckle, and she moves on to look at the special treat you've made. She quirks a brow at the sight. “It's shaped like a heart? How sweet,” she notes, a hint of teasing to her tone. 

“That's not all,” you begin, joy flooding through you as you head to the fridge. You produce a jar of your special jam, made only the night before. Unscrewing the jar, you retrieve a spoon, and dollop a healthy amount of it on the topmost pancake. It's far from as appealing as the usual chocolate sauce you make appearance-wise, but it should taste amazing. 

“Enjoy,” you say, offering her the treat.

As civilized as she is, she fetches a fork. Delicately, she breaks a small piece off, and brings it to her lips. After a quick sniff, she deems it edible, and swallows the bite. Her face contorts instantly into one of delight, humming her approval. 

“I must confess, I did not think it would be so delicious,” she admits. The eagerness with which she secures another bite revealing the truth behind her words. 

You're quite content to prepare more pancakes as she finishes her breakfast, adding generous amounts of your jam to each new cake. In no time at all, you're serving up your second batch, and Lucifer looks like she cannot stomach any more. It's quite a comical sight as she cleans her mouth of crumbs in an attempt to hide any evidence of her gluttony. 

“Always bright and early Lucy,” Beelzebub hums from the doorway, before strolling into the kitchen. Lucifer stiffens at the brazenness with which she addresses her, yet does nothing to act upon it. With no objections, she heads straight towards you. Much like Lucifer, she places and affectionate peck on your cheek. 

“Morning Beel,” you greet, smiling at her affection. 

“And to you, a happy Valentine's,” she responds, her hand finding its way into her pocket. Curiosity burns within you, but not for long. She pulls from her pocket a small box, wrapped in pink paper. “For you,” she states, holding the box out for you. 

Taking it from her with care, you unwrap the gift. A plain box lies beneath, and with a nod from Beelzebub, you take the top off. Inside are hear-shaped chocolates wrapped in a dark red foil. You somewhat expected something much more grand from Beelzebub, but you can't help but grin like an idiot all the same. 

“Thank you!” you cheer, wrapping her in a tight hug. 

Almost too tight, as she fidgets in your grasp. The second you loosen your grip, she moves into a more comfortable position to return the hug. 

“Am I missing something?” Lucifer asks, decidedly unimpressed. 

“Lucy my dear, did you not have a Valentine's gift prepared?” Beelzebub asks in turn, the mockery in her tone spreading to her face.

Lucifer's face flares up a deep red, and she struggles to form a retort. “I. You. This isn't. Ah, were we meant to do that?” she finally asks, looking pointedly away from the pair of you. 

“Don't worry about it,” you say softly. 

“Yes dear, I'm sure you're not the only one who forgot,” Beelzebub says with glee. 

Lucifer merely pouts, her fine mood sullied by the lord of flies. You're no doubt going to have to cheer her back up, but any thought of doing so quickly vanishes when an ear-shattering squeal of delight erupts from the living room. 

Letting go of Beelzebub, much to her chagrin, you head to find the source. The rest of the girls are filing into the living room, Judgement noticeably tapping her ear. Modeus is clutching her box of chocolates, and card, grinning from ear to ear. She is practically vibrating as she bounces on the balls of her feet. 

“Very nice, I got you nothing,” Pandemonica states coldly, already nibbling one of her sweets. 

“Same!” Zdrada adds, puffing smoke in your general direction. 

“Not in here,” you warn. Expecting her to ignore you, Pandemonica reinforces your message with a quick slap to her behind. With a grumble, Zdrada puts out the offending cigarette. 

Judgement has finally recovered from Modeus' scream, and makes her way to you. “What's all this anyway?” she asks softly, her high-prosecutor persona not needed for such a mundane question. 

“It's Valentine's Day, a day for us to shower our loved ones with affection,” you summarize, repressing a chuckle at just how corny it sounds when said aloud. “I happen to have a lot of you,” you add quickly. 

Judgement bristles, before looking to the door. “I-I see. I just remembered, I think we need milk,” she says, rushing to the door. Before anyone can stop her, she's gone. 

“We're out of milk?” Cerberus asks innocently. 

“I believe it was deception,” Pandemonica explains, and Cerberus returns to wrestling with herself over chocolates. 

The rest of the morning goes by with few hiccups. The girls all relish in their gifts, and take even more joy in your valentine themed pancakes. Even Pandemonica, and Zdrada lighten up; giving you a peck on each cheek before going about their usual business. 

It's not until midday that Judgement returns. She is covered in a layer of sweat, and looks absolutely exhausted. Despite this, she marches straight up to you, ignoring Beelzebub who hangs onto your arm. “You!”

“Me?” you ask.

“Here!” she declares, offering to you a bouquet of a dozen red roses. 

You look at them quite dumbly, processing what exactly is going on. It's not until Judgement begins to fidget that you take the flowers from her. Nervously, she looks all around you, and you break into a smile. “Thank you Judgement, they're very nice.”

Her eyes widen, and you swear her tail wags for a brief moment. “Y-yeah! Happy Valemtimes!” 

Beelzebub bursts into a chuckle, and you lightly elbow her to stop. Content in her contribution to the holiday, Judgement heads into the kitchen. No doubt she seeks something to replenish her energy. If she'd give you a chance, you could have warned her just how awful last-minute valentine rushes could be. 

You're dragged from your thoughts by a glass bottle being shoved beneath your nose. The scent is familiar, and it threatens to overwhelm you. “Here,” Malina's unmistakeably grumpy tones say. 

You take the half-drunk bottle of vodka, and quirk a brow. “Happy Valentine's, or whatever,” she mumbles, walking away before you can say anything else. 

Vodka is certainly an unusual gift, especially only half a bottle. Still, you set it to one side for later. Wanting to move on to focus back on Beelzebub, you suppress a sigh as all three of Cerberus' forms paw for your attention. Yielding it to her, she grins as she fetches a ball crudely wrapped in newspaper. 

Beelzebub is content to simply keep hold of you, as one by one the other girls offer you stranger and stranger gifts. At the end of the day, it's the thought that counts...

\- - -

The day is finally over, and you head to your room alone. Stripping down into something more comfortable, you feel something odd in your pocket. Fishing it out, you smile to yourself. Azazel's card remains unopened, and you quickly change that. 

The card is uniform pink, and a large, stylized red heart dominates the front. Flicking it open, and the message is simple. “I love all of you, never change! -Az.”

You can't help but smile, no doubt the message is mimicked in every other card. Regardless, it still fills you with joy. Setting the card to stand on your desk, you move on to bed.

No sooner does your hand hit the springy surface of your bed, does a knock emanates from your door. As much as you just want some sleep, you can't just ignore it. “Come in,” you call.

Turning to see who it is, your heart pauses at the sight of Lucifer. Her face is flushed red, but more importantly; she wears what can only be described as a maid outfit. It is mostly black, white frills the only thing to breaks its uniform shade. Quickly, she enters the room, slamming the door shut behind her. 

“Luc-” you begin, being cut-off by Lucifer shushing you. 

“L-listen you, I'm sorry I didn't know about today,” she begins, raising her hand when you make to interrupt. “Yes, yes, it doesn't matter. Still, this is something I can't lose to the fly in.”

Ah, so that's what this is really about. You could remind her it's not a contest, or simply tell her just how silly she's being as far as Beelzebub is concerned. On the other hand, Lucifer is dressed as a maid just for you, and there's no telling if this will ever happen again. So, you close the small gap between you, and wrap your arms around her. A perverted smirk snakes its way to your lips, and you grope her behind as you pull her close.

“A-ah, master!” she complains, easily shifting into her role. “A-at least take me to your bed,” she pleads. 

Even as she plays the meek maid, she subtly steers you towards the bed. Even lacking control she's in charge, and she soon pushes you onto the bed. You land atop it with a thud, and she quickly joins you. 

“Y-you want me to polish what?” she stumbles, not waiting for you to continue the sordid play. 

As she descends down your body, you feel the blood pump life into your nether region. She tugs at your trousers, she frees your cock. You watch her with glee as she licks her lips in preparation, and you can think only one thing: All in all, not the worst Valentine's Day you've had...


End file.
